Thursday, September 11, 2008

Bahana Serdak Milo...

Nizhniy Novgorod, Sept. 10 - Pembunuh kejam, Kamil Analanal yang di buru polis sejak malam pembunhan Cik Tee kini sudah di kenalpasti terkena perangkap gam tikus di bilik 314. Ekoran sumpahan yang dikenakan ke atasnya oleh Wak Pauk, Kamil yang kini telah kesurupan menjadi tikus liar.

berikutan penangkapan Kamil, pihak polis memberitahu bahawa Kamil dijumpai melekat separuh badannya pada gam tikus cap "Rumah Bersih". Saksi, En. Syahir Tonggek berkata dia mendengar suara cicipan dari arah rumah Kamil semasa sedang asyik mengayuh basikal kapcai tiga rodanya pulang dari membeli pisang kaki untuk dibuat Sundae. En. Syahir Tonggek yang hanya berpuasa yak-yok amat terkejut mendengar cicipan tikus itu.

Beliau seraya menjenguk kedalam rumah itu melalui tingkap. tambahannya, semasa mengintai ke dalam rumah itu, dia terlihat beberapa ekor tikus lain cuba membantu Kamil melepaskan diri, namun tidak berjaya. bahkan, ada seekor tikus ( yakni konco-konco Kamil) secara tidak sengaja telah terlekatkan ekornya sendiri pada gam itu.

semasa tikus konco 1 sedang ingin melepaskan ekornya dari gam, ia terlihat bayang-bayang (yakni En. Syahir Tonggek yang sedang mengintai), lalu menggigit ekornya sendiri bagaikan cicak. En. Syahir terus menelefon kepada pihak berkuasa atas penjeratan pembunuh kejam itu.

Selepas 5 minit aduan dibuat (yakni setelah selesai En. Syahir membuang sisa-sisa nasi goreng dari kedai Pak Syidan dari celah-celah gigi dan bibirnya) selepas 5 minit itu, polis pun tiba.

Proces menangkap Kamil amat melecehkan, dua polis yang cuba mengangkat Kamil dari gam pula secara tidak sengaja terlekat pada gam itu. En. Wawa yang muncul tiba-tiba berjaya menyelesaikan misteri perangkap gam itu ( menggunakan gloves, hebat!)

Setibanya pembunuh di balai polis ' sinkidapur' , pihak polis secara express telah menjatuhkan hukuman mati pada tikus sumpahan itu. Metod hukuman tidak dijelaskan secara terperinci atas dasar-dasar kerakusan melampau. ( cuma air panas dan beg plastik dijadikan sebagai alat hukuman). pada jam 2.30 pm waktu Nogorot, jenazah dikebumikan.

pihak polis kini telah menambah 3 lagi perangkap untuk menjerat konco-konco Kamil Analanal. Sementara itu, di Kuxnya, pertarungan sengit antara Pot Nik ( dengan mambang tanahnya) vs Wak Pauk (dengan jin toncetnya) masih lagi berlansung. Pengadil perlawanan, Hapis Salim Bachik mengatakan round kedua sudah selesai, kini pusingan 3 akan diadakan. berikut adalah komen- komen pengamal ilmu luar tabi'e tersebut.

Wak Pauk: wak yakin pasti menang ni! setakat mambang lumpur tu, jin toncet wak bisa lagi kuat. dulu, masa wak di tanah jawa, wak berguru bukan calang-calang. waduhh~ lihat! lebam- lebam jin wak ni. Toncet, kau jangan bisa sedih-sedih ya, kapan aku belikan lagi feveret tempe kau itu ya.. mesti menang ini!! (sambil menepuk-nepuk jinnya yang sedang menangis.

Pot Nik: kawe takdop ape lagi doh nak kecek. dop kiro guano pong mesti mene jugok nih. tuu, cubo mung tengok, Wani tu, gewe kawe tu, kalo kaloh la ni, malu kawe. takdop mane nk letok muke. mung ni pong satu lah mambang, guano mung bole biakan' jin trompet tu katok mung?! guano guano pong, mung mesti menang nih. kalo dop, melepaslah kawe ngan Wani tu, xdop rempah laie la rumah kito.

pusingan ketiga menjanjikan kemenangan pada salah seorang petanding. namun, kata pengadil upahan, Hapis Salim Bachik, para penonton juga bole mengundi di laman ini untuk menentukan siapakah yang layak menang.

itu sahaja berita untuk hari ini, selamat berpuasa. berita lanjut akan disambung setelah keputusan undian di comment dikira. sekian...

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Pencarian Ahmad Kamil...

Nizhniy Novgorod, 9 Sept - berikutan kejadian pembunuhan kejam Cik Tee di bilik 313 tingkat 3, hotel mewah Perviy, pembunuh yang dikenalpasti sebagai Ahmad Kamil telah berjaya melarikan dirinya dari lokap tahanan. Polis yang masih curiga dengan modus operandi pembunuh untuk melepaskan diri telah berjumpa dengan bomoh Siam terkenal yang dikenali sebagai Pot Nik.

setelah menghulurkan beberapa riya' (yakni bahasa K.L nya ringgit), Pot Nik bersetuju untuk membantu pihak polis menyelesaikan misteri prison break versi Kamil itu. Setelah diasap beberapa daun kemeyan dari Gunung Kembang Semangkuk dan seraya memanggil mambang tanah, mambang itu tadi berjaya mengesan bau Kamil. Namun, apa yang lebih menghairankan, mambang tadi berkata Kamil telah mendapat bantuan dari seorang lagi bomoh terkenal, Wak Pauk yang berasal dari tanah Jawa.

Beberapa orang polis yang pergi memburu Kamil di rumahnya mengatakan bahawa Kamil telah disumpah oleh Wak Pauk yang dulunya rakan sekelas Kamil, menjadi tikus. sumpahan itu diyakini disebabkan oleh kegagalan Kamil untuk menjelaskan hutang piutangnya kepada Wak Pauk.

Malam tadi, detektif terkenal, En. Wawa dilaporkan membantu polis dalam usaha mencari Kamil. Beberapa pendekatan bernas dilakukan untuk menangkap pelarian penjara itu.

Beberapa kawasan strategik kini dilengkapi jerat turun temurun seperti gam tikus cap "Rumah Bersih" dan julap tikus yang dibeli di Kem tentera dibawah Hostel No. 5. kawasan yang dikenalpasti sebagai kawasan lepak Kamil; celah peti ais dan laci Milo telah dipasang perangkap.

Mambang tanah milik Pot Nik kini sedang bertarung dengan Jin Toncet milik Wak Pauk dalam usaha menangkap suspek yang bersubahat itu. Pertarungan getir yang berlaku di Kuxnya Hotel Perviy masih berlangsung. Orang ramai yang pergi melihat, rata-ratanya menyokong Pot Nik termasuk Cik Wani Abas ( Chairmain of Babas Spices Co.)

berita lanjut akan disambung pada malam esok, setelah selesai sembahyang Terawikh.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Misteri Pembunuhan Cik Tee.. (its dead! oh yeah its dead!)



Nizhniy Novgorod, Sept. 5 - Seekor anak tikus dijumpai mati katak di bilik 313 dalam keadaan ngeri. Anak tikus itu yang di beri nama Cik Tee di syaki mati akibat tersepit pada pintu bilik. Tuan tikus, Ahmad Kamil berkata Cik Tee sering kelihatan berkeliaran di corner pintu beliau.




Kamil yang begitu kesal dengan kematian anak tikus itu bersumpah akan menuntut bela atas kematian mangsa. beberapa suspek disyaki menjadi mastermind dalam kes pembunuhan kejam itu. Pauk ( nama sebenar Pait) yang juga seorang pembantu kanan Ahmad Kamil, mengerahkan pihak atasan agar mengeluarkan waran tangkap kepada tertuduh, En. Arep Sudin.

tertuduh yang menafikan dakwaan tersebut ingkar untuk memberikan DNA beliau kepada pihak atasan. Katanya, dia kesal dengan tindakan pihak atasan yang secara diam-diam mencuri rambut beliau dari kain tuala mandinya.

semalam berlaku satu pertelingkahan antara tertuduh dan yang menuduh. semasa rancak pertingkaran lidah sehingga menggamatkan suasana tingkat 3 itu, muncul wira penyelamat - En. Wawa. kedatangan beliau akhirnya berjaya menamatkan pertikaman lidah kedua-dua belah pihak.

keputusan uji kaji di tempat kejadian ( bilik 313) berjaya membuktikan bahawa En. Arep Sudin tidak bersalah. namun, apa yang menggemparkan ialah pembunuh sebenar tikus kecil itu, iaitu En. kamil.

pembunuh di bawa ke tempat perundingan dan apabila di tanya tentang motif pembunuhan, dengan tanpa segan silu dia menerangkan bahawa Cik Tee terlalu rakus. Pada malam kejadian, En. kamil mendapati bahawa bungkusan Horlick dan Milo nya dibocori oleh Cik Tee. Disebabkan perasan amarah, dia hilang kawalan diri dan sanggup mengumpan tikus belaan nya itu ke sisi pintu lalu mengepit mangsa tanpa belas kasihan.

Mangsa yang baru berumur belasan hari itu mati di tempat kejadian sambil meninggalkan wasiatnya ( najis busuk).

Sunday, September 7, 2008

guess the song...=)

Saigo no kisu wa
Tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori

Ashita no imagoro niwa
Anata wa doki ni irun darou
Dare wo omotterun darou

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka dareka to mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made

Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugokidasou to shiteru
Wasuretakunai koto bakari

Ashita no imagoro niwa
Watashi wa kitto naiteru
Anata wo omotterun darou

You will always be inside my heart
Itsumo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka dareka to mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song
Now and forever

for u...=)

Saturday, September 6, 2008

beauty in meaninglessness

from dawn till now have i seek the real, clear to reason for the true point of life. for long have i thought, i once believe that life has no meaning, it is just the humanity want to maintain its sanity by inventing the meaning of life. neither question nor answer can i fathom. but then one great thing crossed my mind - to live is to be beauty in meaninglessness- thats what came to my mind when i was busy struggling to find my own meaning.. to continue existence without any clear goal to pursue.

wait, are we aiming to pursue happiness? how can i describe happiness? is it a childish imagination of vanity and infatuation? i like using these words, its the only word how i can describe happiness. from my perspective, humanity only have suffering and guilty. happiness doesn't exist originally, its a feeling or more like our desire to imagine the aftermath of excruciation. how could i dare to say to live is to be happy when happiness only came after suffering. to live in happiness alone is impossible because of the equilibrium with suffering. and so, the main reason to live is not to be happy. it is still the ultimate question.

or maybe to live is to be in balance, to exist in equilibrium. as the yin yang has shown and most people believe. if we agree the meaning of life is to stay persist in existence by the law of equilibrium, then we are all agree that we live in a circle, because equilibrium is a system which is attained between acting forces in this world, just like our solar system for example. i still remember in our Philosophy class, we learned about dualism by Rene Descartes. the dualism concept is the same as in equilibrium, to balance and control each acting forces.

but i believe in Oneness concept. i believe we live to fulfill the responsibility to the God who created us. i try to read and understand the instruction manual, the Quran. for decades have i stood in this world, i have seen how much the Quran guide our people, our humanity. i try then to imagine how will this world be without religion, only inauspicious tragedy came to my mind and then humanity will get outrage and all what we expect was the meaning of life; equilibrium, balance and happiness will vanish and so the humanity. and so, whatever angle or any spectrum we try to find the answer of the reason to live, it will all go crumble if we opt out the religion as the prime mover of our existence.

my life is my own philosophy. its much like myself, as to be created. nobody can determine it. thats the meaning of life, whatever meaning i want to give it.

Friday, September 5, 2008

the real colour of life...

( please gaze on the "a painted life" chapter before you read this.. to understand which is real feeling and which is hypocritical statement)



but my love, i will never give up. no matter how much longer will it take. though, the longing is great, but memories of u i can rely.or is it just me trying to convince my heart? what my soul want is different. the surreal moment seems lively. what do we feel?

nothingness. that the feeling i get now. to know everything i knew was just the thing i shouldn't know, make me realize all I've known till now was just nothing. to live was my inspiration but now to leave everything might just be the right amount of vanity i can pursue. me, the aficionado of your memory want to psyche u up to know where can we go but all was just a fiasco.

not now, the past has spoken and tomorrow might be just late. what are we waiting? we hurt and love each other, but that was not the case. why should i care? we was so alone together. all the truth, joy and dream were merely social desire and wings to try to reach the sky. the clarity of you seems vivid to my eyes, but not clear to this soul. to take it as inauspicious will give rise to hatred, or is it just unpleasant?

bring me sadness and i shall give a flower, a green rose that never be seen in the world to just know they are only in paradise. the same i will take for the ache i brought. this pain was not real. this time is the last, i will draw my soul in the canvas of your dream. the colour will be our past. as the future will only be in black.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

a painted life...

its quiet tonight,
slowly the raindrops filter through the leaves,
on which the gentle breeze sweetens,
releasing fragrances,
watching the moon in and out of the
white cotton clouds,

this is the night i wish i am with the one i love, to hold her silently and breathe gently. but no, this is not going to happen. i've hurt her so much and yet, i feel no guilty. what is this feeling? is it a childish infatuation or a brief moment of vanity?. for months i've thought about this, but no clear suggestion ever came to mind. every time i sit alone, i can feel her by my side, when i hark back to what happened, her adorable face appears in my sight. i have plenty of sweet memory with her, a collection that will never i dare to forsake.

this is the 3rd time i tried to win her heart back, and i promised her that this will be the time it will last. i begged her to bury all the back and past as i've learned through all the fight and separation that happiness depends on having her. all i am, i put in her hands. the path is clear, i have no other door.

simply, she replied " it needs more than words to make it real". i completely understood her proud statement, as i am the one who should kick my own stubborn ass and ask myself to zap back to reality. not only i feel no guilty, even more, i am being selfish. i still think that i deserve her, because i spend all the day thinking and through the night dreaming about her. but yes, all the thinking and dreaming wont work in this simple, hypocritical and materialistic reality.